Do you ever have a moment when you realise that you are just kidding yourself? Mine came today as I handed over £150 (ish) at the supermarket for a weeks shopping for four adults. I mean over £37 per person for (mostly) food. What has happened to my finances and how can we beat this when there is more month than money. I am extremely lucky - I am in the situation where I am not in danger of losing my home thanks to energy bills , I do not have to go to bed hungry or send my kids to bed hungry and I have no debt. Part of this is hard work over the last 40 years - part of this is just plain luck. If you are in the middle ground where you are not going without food then the following thoughts may help. If you are in the situation where it is about to lead to starvation or homelessness please seek professional help (citizens advice is a good first port of call) and good luck to you.
Now for the majority...
First it is easy to sleepwalk into this kind of situation when you need your days to be 34 hours long, it happens, and if it happens to you then just think thank goodness I noticed now and do something about it. The fact you noticed is a win, take it.
Second, do yourself a favour and do a financial audit -list all your weekly, monthly, quarterly, annual or any other regular bills; are there any for subscriptions or memberships that you can cancel, even if you can't cancel immediately (for example you signed up for a minimum membership term) write it on the calendar or put it in your phone to cancel ASAP. In my case there are a couple of subscriptions that I signed up to when I needed to homeschool my youngest son (post pandemic) hopefully the arrangement we have now will hold so these can be cancelled; if I need to later then I can always re-join.
Your financial audit should also point you at any debt like credit cards, store cards, overdrafts etc. It goes without saying that as soon as inflation goes up the amount you pay in interest goes up too. I am lucky personally that early on I prioritised paying off my debt and I have not had extreme enough emergencies to push me back there again. Every penny that you pay off now over the minimum amount will save you more pennies later on. Go to a site such as Moneysavingexpert and look at the advice from experts on how to consolidate/reduce/payoff etc your debt. It doesn't have to be in one go - it has taken a long time to build up why would it be wiped out in one go? - but even if it is just overpaying the most expensive debt first take control and move the mountain out of your way once stone at a time. Every penny that you overpay is a win, so is every time you resist adding to the mountain because you feel like hell. Never underestimate the effect of mental happiness on spending - when we feel like cr*p we treat ourselves, be honest with yourself and if this is you then remind yourself that you will feel better for longer (not just a quick rush) when you clear the mountain you have buried yourself under and if you can treat the cause not the symptom and find out why you are unhappy.
Now that you have looked at the things that feel like they are beyond your control lets look at the food/household spending. This is less of a big weekly saving and more of a steady drip drip but it does add up. Have you fallen into the habit of buying set brand leaders for some of your shopping. Have you stopped shopping around and only go to the nearest "average" supermarket to save time and hassle (that's me folks!). Have you had to return to the workplace and are relying on lunch deals or canteen food because you are not organised enough to bring in a pack lunch (guilty again). Are you stuck in a rut on the meals that you cook when you could substitute a few cheaper meals during the week (yes again). I freely admit that I have (and repeatedly do) sleepwalk into all of these - it is my default of the least hassle way of life so when things get complicated (and there is plenty to get complicated with three autistic offspring) then this is what happens. But you know what - everyone has their own personal point where this is true depending on personal circumstances, human beings are genetically programmed to save energy (mental and physical) the trick is when it does happen don't beat yourself up about it at the time and make up for it later. It's not a wagon that you can't get back onto.
So having identified food spending as my major slipup I am off to inventory my cupboards and freezer, make a meal plan for the first time in a very long time...Restart my price book for long shelf life items. Sign up to a personal commitment of just once a week trying a new recipe and digging out the tupperware for packed lunches. Wish me luck - I wish the same for you